Where you set your bar
Nobody has higher expectations of me than myself, this is very true of many people I know. I aim higher and hold myself to far higher standards than I would expect anyone else to ever maintain and whilst this in part helps propel me to be the best I can be, it also makes life hard sometimes, really hard.
Marisa always impresses on me the importance of any period of transition to anyone. It’s a time when we’re particularly vulnerable, when the changes in the world around us are happening so quickly that we can easily become overwhelmed. Even when we don’t feel particularly stressed or anxious about a change, we can be more vulnerable and sometimes it’s these situations that can be more dangerous. A period of transition can be a new school, a new job, a house move, the loss of a relationship. The cuts that we may brush off on a normal day always cut deeper when we’re in transition.
I’ve found myself in quite a big transition at the moment and whilst everything’s going according to plan, I’m having to keep reminding myself that it’s all new, and everything isn’t going to be perfect straight away. I have set the bar very high for myself and I am happy with this, but I also have to accept that failing to consistently reach an unrealistic target is inevitable.
The simplest switch to flick when my inner monologue is chastising every little imperfection is to try to talk to myself as I would talk to a good friend. I would never tell my friend who’s struggling with a new job that they’re useless, not cut out for it, or to just give up.
Like most things, it helps too to talk to someone. Releasing yourself from the torture that we inflict upon ourselves when we are our own judge jury and executioner.
“All advice is autobiographical” (Austin Kleon) and like many words that have filled these 100 blog pages, this is no different. If someone can take just a little reprieve from my own lessons for myself, then for now at least, I’m going to keep writing.